It's hard to say it
by iammelissa87
Summary: Takes place after 3x12 Ian changes his mind, and doesnt leave for the army He has a relationship he needs to work on. Thats really all I can say
1. Chapter 1

As the bus took off into the proverbial sunset, Mickey couldn't do anything. His body was frozen in place. His feet too heavy to lift from the ground. His body ached. And it was a pain he had never felt.

Sure, Mickey has felt pain. The numb, face bashing, knuckle tearing pain. But never this tearing, throbbing burning pain. This was new. With all of his other pain, his instincts would kick in and move his body for him. But this? It had him nailed. '_Don't go' _was all he could get out of his mouth, without a simple sound to his voice. Just words forming on his lips. And with that, the pain got worse. The worse the pain got, the more heavy his body became. Mandy's words rang in his ears, like a train had run over him. '_Your such a fucking pussy_'. He invited the words in, because he was in fact, a pussy. He couldn't get the words out to get Gallagher to stay. He didn't know how to get them out. And in the back of his mind, he felt if he had even gotten the words out, life wouldn't change. Because he was still married, and he was still going to be a father, and Gallagher would still be going to the army.

'_Don't go_' he said again, but this time, with a little more determination in his throat. By the third time he said it, he could feel the words screaming in his chest. Finally, after one more try, the bus came to a screeching halt.

Mickey still couldn't move. He didn't even know if his words were loud enough to be heard. Because lets face it, He is a pussy.

He stood there, watching the bus, as Ian stepped off, back pack strapped over his shoulder, head facing the cold cement ground, as the bus started its path again.

Ian didn't see Mickey. He didn't see him standing there, with tears in his eyes. Ian was too busy walking away. The further Ian walked, the lighter Mickey became, and soon his feet were able to move.

Mickey was too much of a pussy to tell Ian not to leave. He was too much of a pussy to not let Ian on the bus, and he was too much of a pussy to scream out at Ian after he had gotten off. But he wasn't too much of a pussy to not see where Ian was going.


	2. Chapter 2

Mickey followed Ian for a few blocks, staying a safe distance behind him so he would be unnoticed. With each step, he felt his confidence come back a little more and more. But he didn't want to get in Gallagher's way. Ian didn't look Happy or sad. He looked blank. This was a new look for him. Mickey wasn't sure of he liked it or not. No, he definitely didn't like it.

As they walked through an alley, Ian kicked a dumpster, and punched a brick wall couple of times. "Mother fucker" Ian cried out as he threw his fist at the wall again. This worried Mickey. He had never seen Ian angry. He didn't think he _ever_ got angry. But Mickey being Mickey, a pussy, didn't say anything. He still stayed a safe distance from Gallagher. He didn't want to scare him or make him angrier.

Ian stopped walking and tore his backpack from his shoulder, throwing it at the ground, the way he threw the bottle in the abandoned building when he confronted Mickey a few months before, huffing in anger. Seeing that made Mickey back away a little more, until he was safely hidden behind the dumpster Ian had just kicked a few minutes ago. He still continued to watch Ian. He felt like a creeper doing this, but he wanted mostly to make sure Ian was okay.

Mickey kept his eyes on Ian, watching him back up into the wall, sliding down, with his palms to his face, rubbing down. And that is when he heard Ian cry. He could hear the pain in Ian's breakdown. He wanted to run to him and console him, but he knew he couldn't. he wouldn't. He just watched, until Ian took out a cigarette from his pack, and lit it. Ian's knuckles turned white as he struck the lighter, struggling to lite it. After the third try, he finally inhaled the nicotine and tobacco, with an immediate sigh afterwards. He sat there with his head in his hands for a while longer, finishing his cigarette, and throwing the butt to the side, before getting up and cursing Mickey's name. '_Fuck you, Mick. Fuck you_' Ian said as he pulled his pack over his shoulder again, and started walking again.

Ian said Mickey's name with such hatred. He had never heard his name used like that by someone other than his father. It hurt to hear his name said like that by Ian. He wanted to run to Gallagher, and hit him for leaving. To yell and scream at him for ignoring him. For walking out on him the way he did. But he knew he would never intentionally hurt Ian. Mickey _loved_ Ian. Mickey has never loved anyone. Not even himself. But Ian Gallagher? Mickey _Loved_ Ian Gallagher.

Mickey followed Ian further. He followed him to the Baseball field that was not less than 2 blocks away from where the bus had stopped. But with Ian's breakdown, the baseball field felt miles away. To Mickey, even Ian felt miles away.

Once at the baseball fields, Ian walked into the dugout and sat on the bench, finally relaxing as he fought to get comfortable, and opened his backpack. He took out a joint that he found in a small pocket, and lit it. Mickey could see in Ian's eyes that he was about to cry again, and Mickey was going to let him. Ian clearly had a lot of built up anger in his system that he needed to blow.

A few minutes later, Ian sat up from being slouched over, and put his head between his knees and let out a loud scream. He took a few deep breaths, and screamed again, but even louder. When he came back up, Mickey was sitting right beside him, pulling the joint from his fingers, before it was gone.

"You're going to wake the dead, screaming like that" Mickey joked as he blew the thick smoke from his lungs.

"Fuck you, Mickey." Ian growled.

They both sat there in Silence for a few minutes, before Ian stood up. Mickey grabbed his arm, and pulled him back down.

"I wasn't gonna stop you." Mickey said, as he turned to Ian, pulling his face as to look at him. "I'm not some bitch" he finished, and Kissed him. "But I am glad I saw you get off that bus" he finished as he took the last hit from the joint, and smashing the end between his spit covered fingers.


	3. Chapter 3

Ian and Mickey sat in silence a while longer before Ian started talking. He was seemed less angry, but Mickey was sure he was hiding a lot of his anger, because he still had that blank look to his eyes.

"Mick- I lied." Ian said in almost a whisper. "I did go to your house to see you. And let me finish this before you talk. I did go to see you. I went there with the intention of telling you I was leaving. I went there, hoping you would stop me. Hoping you wouldn't let me get on that bus. But I also knew you wouldn't. You still cant even tell me how you feel. But I didn't want to stay in South Side thinking you didn't feel the same as I do. It's too painful for me."

"So, you decide to go sign up to get your ass hot off?" Mickey asks, with anger in his voice. "And come tell me, like its not going to bother me at all?"

"No. I did it because I cant see you with her, or with a child. I cant see you with anyone other than me. It hurts, Mickey." Ian was coming a little more out of his shell with those words. This wasn't a new look for Mickey to see, but it was. It seemed like Ian was opening up to Mickey like he never has before. There was a comforting peace glowing from him.

"You think I WANT to be with her? You think I WANT a kid?" Mickey asked, with annoyance in his voice. "You think I WANT to be with someone else? You don't know fucking shit, Gallagher. You are blind if you think otherwise."

Mickey was looking directly into Ian's eyes. And he could feel the weight shift back into his body. He couldn't move. That pain was coming back. It made it hard to breath.

"I didn't ask for any of this. I didn't ask to marry her. I was forced into it. To protect your fucking ass, Gallagher." The words hurt him as they came out. His voice cracked in a deafening way. But he choked on the feeling, and swallowed. "If I didn't marry her, Terry would have both you and I killed. I have told you before, that if my father found out I was gay, he would kill me. Why do you think I tried to kill Frank? Because I fucking wanted to?"

"Mick- Im sorry. I had no Idea. Why didn't you say anything?" Ian asked with worry in his voice

"Because this isn't how its supposed to happen. I am a Milkovich. I am not supposed to be a faggot. Im supposed to beat the fuck out of them. That's how I was raised." Mickey said as his face turned white.

"Mickey. Listen to me. I know you weren't raised like I was, but we both come from the same side of town. We both know what its like to be from South Side. I wasn't asking you to scream that you were gay, or that you were in love with me. I just wanted you to tell ME. I know were not boyfriend and girlfriend, but I know what happened between us. I know what we shared. If you had no feelings for me, you, a Milkovich, would not have told me I could stay overnight with you. I know you better than that." Ian said.

'No, we aren't boyfriend and Girlfriend, Gallagher. But I do care You may not see it, but I do." Mickey retorted back.

Both boys sat in silence again. It was starting to get dark, and it started snowing. Both boys had been sitting in that dugout all day. Most of the time, they were silent, mostly because they didn't want to piss each other off. But they sat there, together, not moving.

"So, you went to the bus station?" Ian asked, with that stupid grin that Mickey secretly loves.

"Fuck no. I just saw the bus" Mickey laughed

"Oh, so you walked what? 10 blocks away from your house to the other side of here, just for the hell of it?" Ian asked, laughing with Mickey

"Sure" Mickey said and stood up.


	4. Chapter 4

As night fell over the Chicago sky, Mickey and Ian were walking aimlessly around the dim south side streets, not going particularly anywhere. Just two sets of feet walking around town. They mostly walked in silence, while both randomly shoving each other off of curbs and jokingly into oncoming traffic. They were in a rather intoxicated state of mind. Not drunk, or high. Just… Happy. Mickey wouldn't admit that that's what was happening, but he wouldn't exactly deny it either.

Silence stuffed between them like it was normal. Mostly because it was. They weren't really the chatty kind. Except when Ian was really excited about something, or when Mickey was doing something really annoying. Mickey did a lot of annoying things, but Ian really didn't care. It gave him an excuse to talk, and to hear Mickey's words float around his ears. Ian loved the sound of Mickey's voice. But he wouldn't ever admit that. He wouldn't deny it either.

The boys ended up running around, chasing after each other, after Mickey pushed Ian into a Postal box.

"What the fuck was that for? FUCK" Ian snarled.

"You hit it. Not me, firecrotch" Mickey said snickering, with that wide grin that went all the way to his eyes. "Now get your ass up and stop fuckin crying. Douchebag." Mickey held his hand out to offer Ian help up, and Ian smacked him away. Ian stood up really fast and gained his composure before pushing Mickey into the wall, laughing. He stood there for a minute, watching the look that flashed through Mickey's eyes, and took off running, flipping him off. "Fuck you" and laughing.

Mickey secretly loved the chase. He loved watching Ian get that grin of his, that stretched throughout his entire face. It made his eyes all sparkly and shit. And as gay as it sounded to Mickey, it was still one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. Besides Ian naked of course.

Mickey stood alone in his thoughts for all of 5 seconds, with the morning scenes running through his head. Of him being too much of a pussy to try and get Ian to stay. Thinking about how he felt nailed to the ground. And then he thought of now. The very minute he was chasing Ian through town. He wasn't going to let anything glue him down again. With the crack of his knuckles and a twist in his neck, he let out a smile that no one has ever seen. Mostly cause he has never had a smile like that, and took off, running after Gallagher.

Ian was fast. Really fast. Mickey knew it would be hell catching up to him. But oh well. When Mickey finally caught up to him, he pulled at his arm. "woah, chill out, flash. Your running like your life depends on it." he panted, filling his lungs with air at each inhalation. Ian just laughs at him, with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath as well.

When Mickey catches his breath, he leans up and pulls Ian into the ally that they just so happened to stop at.

"Don't ever fucking leave me again. In this shit hole town, I have never had anything. And when I finally found something worth keeping around, you tried to fucking leave. _Don't_." Mickey barked in a whisper at Ian's lips. His words than became a battle of tongue and teeth and blood with Ian's mouth. It was a war that no one would win.


	5. Chapter 5

After a round in the Alley and two more in a complete stranger's shed, Ian sat with his bare back touching the frozen aluminum, and his pants around his ankles. Mickey, laying with his head in Ian's lap, and both boys sharing a cigarette. Ian ran his hand through Mickey's hair, watching him as he inhaled the smoke with his eyes closed. The younger boys smile stretched from one eye to the other. A feeling he was trying to get used to again, after being out of his mind for the past few weeks.

Mickey knew Ian was smiling. He didn't have to open his eyes to see it. He could feel it in the way Ian softly touched his hair. The way Ian's thighs tighten under his neck when Mickey pretends not to know he is pressing on his dick. Mickey knew Ian better than maybe even Ian knew Ian. And Mickey took pride in this.

"Wipe that shit eating grin off your face before I smack it off, Gallagher" Mickey said, with his eyes still shut.

If Ian wasn't smiling before, he damn sure was now. "I have no clue what you're talking about, Mick"

"What the fuck ever." Mickey's eyes sprung open, to see the smile he knew was there. He handed the redhead the cigarette and sat up, pooling his clothes from a few feet away. "Its fucking cold. Get your ass dressed before your dick freezes off, Firecrotch" he says, throwing Ian his shirt and jacket.

Ian thrusts his hips up from the ground, pulling his boxers and pants up. Mickey was going to pretend like he didn't see the way Ian's hipbones popped up like they were some sort of perfectly shaped structure that could only be seen on one of those male models that you see in magazines. In fact, Mickey didn't even think the models had hipbones so perfect as Ian's.

"Thanks for this, Mickey. For today" Ian said as he pulled his sweater over his shoulders.

Mickey knew, by the way Ian's voice was hitched, that he actually meant it, and he had to give him a nice reply. Well, as nice as Mickey could give him.

"Yea, whatever. Just doing my job." The words came out before he even realized he was going to say them, and he immediately tried to correct him self. "Gotta make Mandy happy." Shit. He did it again. Didn't think before he spoke.

Ian replied like he knew exactly what Mickey was thinking. "It's okay, Mick- I know what you mean." He said with a grin and bright green eyes that tore into Mickey's skin.

"No. You really don't. What I meant is, you're wel-" and Mickey did the only thing he could to let Ian know how thankful he was that Ian didn't leave. He pulled him into him and kissed him softly on the corner of his mouth. "Your welcome."

"She knows." Mickey said as the boys were walking under the EL, on their way back to their houses. "She's ok with this. You and me, still banging." Mickey was walking next to Ian, his hands buried deep in his pockets, chin to the ground and eyes looking up and over at Ian.

"Really now?" Ian asked, eyes wide and shocked as he looked back at the shorter boy.

"Yea, she's actually pretty cool about it. She actually smelled you after the wedding. Which I thought was fucking ridiculous." Mickey rolled his eyes behind his head. "She's got this funny accent, and you should have heard her. '_You smell of orange hair boy. You fuck him, yea_?' " Mickey laughed as he told Ian this. "She asked me about you last night. Asked why Mands was bitching about me behind my back. You wouldn't happen to know why she called me a fucking pussy when you walked out, would you?" Mickey knew why, but wondered if Ian knew.

"Well, you see…" Ian paused. "I kind of drank a little too much at your wedding. Lip told me I pretty much screamed you out of the closet. But I don't remember. He said everyone else was too drunk to know what was going on."

"Yea, thanks for that. My family knowing is the last thing I need" Mickey huffed, but not in a threatening way. "Come by sometime" Mickey said as he lifted his chin to look up at Ian. "Meet her. You might like her."

"Yea, I highly doubt that." Ian paused, as they came up to his house. "But I can give it a shot." He said with that huge grin of his plastered on his face.

"See you tomorrow?" Mickey asked, still looking at Ian.

"In your fucking dreams" Ian laughed as he walked backwards away from Mickey, flipping him off, and still with that stupid fucking grin.

Mickey just laughed and watched Ian walk to his front door. He didn't know what made him do it, but he followed Ian to his door. Before Ian pulled out his key to unlock it, Mickey grabbed Ian, turned him around, and kissed him again, his tongue invading Ian's mouth. Ian let out a soft moan and bit Mickey's lip.

"Good night, Gallagher" Mickey said as he took off running before anyone could see him.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Ian woke up to the hustling sounds of the everyday Gallagher house. He could hear Carl and Debbie screaming at eachother, and Fiona screaming at them to come down for breakfast.

"Food" Ian thought. He doesn't remember feeling this hungry in days. He sits up out of bed, pulls on his pants and heads down stairs.

"Did I hear food?" Ian asks as everyone sits at the table.

"Come. Eat. You look hungry" Fiona said. "Sleep well?"

"Uh, sure. I guess. Long day yesterday." Ian sighed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and remembering why he was so tired.

Before he lost the nerve, and while he had a chance, Ian really needed to talk to Fiona. He needed to to explain to her why he had been M.I.A for a while. He felt like he could now, after knowing he wasn't going to be leaving for a while, and that his head was in a better place this morning.

"Fi-, can we talk? Kinda need to tell you a few things." Ian tried to whisper to her at the sink after breakfast.

"Sure kid. Whats up?" Fiona asked with a little worry in her eyes. Ian hated seeing her worry.

"It's nothing too bad. I didn't kill anyone." He smirks and Fiona jabs in in the rib with her elbow, laughing. "Just need to talk to you. In private. Whenever you get a chance."

"Sure thing. Debs? Help Carl with the dishes. I'm going to talk to Ian." Fiona said with a demanding tone in her voice. It was so demanding you can see it in her eyes.

Fiona motions for Ian to follow her, and she makes her way to her room. Her room is where all the serious and private conversations happen. As if when the door shuts, the words are trapped in their for eternity.

"What's up? Everything ok? Are YOU ok? You have seemed not.. Ian lately." She asked with a concerned force in her voice.

"Well, Its kind of a long story. Not rally my story to tell, but I feel you have a right to know." Ian said truthfully. "I've ben kinda seein someone. My age. Don't worry. But, a lot of shit went down between us recently…" he trailed off, rubbing his palms to his face.

"Who is lucky enough to be with my baby brother? Do I know him? Whats his name?" Fiona asked these questions with that huge smile of hers. That smile that you want to just give in to and tell everything to. Ian hasn't seen her smile like this since the courts gave her guardianship over all the kids..

"I will tell you everything, but you cant say a fucking word. If he knows you know.. Jesus, I would probably lose him forever." Ian's voice was very serious, and it wiped that smile right off of Fiona's face. Now, she just looked worried

"It isn't Lloyd, is it, Ian? He is too old for you. Your still a kid" she said.

This made Ian laugh. He thought it was funny. Because the last time he actually saw him, he was pulling bullets out of Mickey's ass.

"No, No. it isn't Llyod. Its actually.." Ian laughed as he paused. It was a lot harder for him to tell her than he thought it would be. Mostly, cause he knew how Fiona felt about the Milkovich family.

"Spit it out. I want to know" Fiona said, gaining that huge smile back.

In a low voice, with his head hanging, Ian whispered the name like Fiona was going to lecture him.

"Mickey Milkovich. We've been seeing.. fucking eachother for about 2 years. Give a little. But lately, before he got mar…" the word soured on his tongue. He couldn't get the word out. It was painful. "Before the wedding, shit went to hell."

When he looked up, he could swear he saw what looked like fear on Fiona's face. Her lips were open, like she wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words. The room was silent for a moment.

"Mickey? Mickey Milkovich? The neighborhood thug? That's who you have been sleeping with?" She asked with wide eyes.

"When Lip and I were in that boys home, I snuck out one night. Didn't get caught, but Lip helped me. And I stayed the night at his house. His dad and brothers were gone, so he asked me to stay. Things were going great by that time. Even thought we would be more than what we were. Until the next morning. Terry walked in on us." Ian paused to see if Fiona was going to say anything. But she didn't. She just looked at him, wanting him to continue. "He walked in on us, and he beat both Mickey and I. Hell, he even called over a 'Russian'. I thought we were going to fucking die, but turns out, the Russian was a prostitute. Terry made her 'fuck the fag' out of Mickey. He even made me watch. After that, Mickey wouldn't talk to me for weeks. And when he finally did, I had to come up with a story as to why my face was bashed in. hence the hand to hand combat training I told everyone. I guess it was a touchy subject to him, not to mention, I tried to get him to admit that he loved me and he was gay. Mickey being Mickey, he hit me. But I kind of asked for it, to be honest. I told him to hit me." Ian was relieved to finally be getting all of this off of his chest. It made him feel a lot better after being able to tell her every thing. He used to tell her everything, pre coming out of the closet. She had always been that mother figure to him.

"So, your telling me, that you have been seeing Mickey for 2 years, and his dad walked in on you, and beat the shit out of you both, and had Mickey raped? That fucking son of a bitch. What the hell?" Fiona looked more angry than he had ever seen her. But she just sat there, shocked by everything Ian was telling her. "Wait, isn't Mickey married now? Is it her?" she asked.

"Yea. That's the fucked up part. The painful part. I went to the wedding, tried talking to him. Told him he didn't have to do it. We ended up having sex before the wedding. I even got drunk and was told that I sorta outted him. But Lip said everyone was so drunk, they didn't know what was happening. Only Mandy heard." He said, looking down at his feet, ashamed to look at his sister.

"Why the fuck is he marrying her?" She asked, concerned. She has never had a concerned bone in her body for anyone in the Milkovich family.

"Apparently, she is pregnant. With Mickey's kid." The words brought tears to Ian's eyes.

"Oh Ian, I am so sorry" She said, grabbing him, and pulling him into an embrace. "I am so sorry you are going through this. I have never wanted this for you."

Fiona held Ian in her arms for a little while, and just let him cry. She knew he needed it. What are big sisters for?

"Do you love him?" Fiona asked, in a whisper, not wanting to scare him and make him move.

"I do, Fiona. I do love him. I have never loved anyone as much as I love him." Ian said, pulling him self slowly away from her. "And that's why I was going to leave." He cried.

"Leave? You were going to leave?" Fiona asked

"I.. I.. I stole Lip's ID and tried to enlist. I knew it was a mistake, and I didn't go through with it. But I also couldn't leave you. I couldn't leave my family. We all need each other, and I need to be here." He said apologetically. "I am so sorry, Fiona."

"You are still here. We're still family, Ian" she said pulling him into another hug.

Fiona went on, telling Ian about what had happened the last few days. About Jimmy leaving, and about Frank being sick. She was even excited about telling him about her job position selling those cups of hers. But Ian mostly blocked it out, because all he could do was cry. He would worry about it later, at this moment, Ian just wanted to go back to sleep. All the crying made him tired.

"I will go see Frank when I wake up. I just need to get back to sleep. Too much on my mind. And I am sure Jimmy will come around. Give it a few days. And Congrats on the job. Good luck" He said, and gave her a big hug. "I love you, Fi' he said, and walked out of her room, and into his.

He took his pants off, layed back on his bed, and pulled a joint out from his bed side table. If he was going to get ANY kind of good sleep, he needed to be high and relaxed. Because after telling Fiona all of that, I brought back a lot of painful memories he really didn't want to think about.

And that was when his cell phone buzzed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Unknown number:**

**Gonna see you today or not firecrotch? **

**9:48am**

**Me: **

**Depends. You miss me already? :P**

**9:49am**

**Unknown number:**

**Don't know what the fuck that face is for, and fuck off. Am I gonna see you or not? Simple fucking question.**

**9:51am**

**Ian stared at his phone for a few minutes, laughing, because that last text told him his answer. He had the bright idea though, to get the answer he wanted to hear. **

**Ian stood up, walked out of his room, and into the bathroom. After a few minutes, he came out with his huge grin that he carries only for Mickey. It had a hint of evil in it. As Ian layed back onto his bed, his cell phone buzzed again.**

**Mick**

**You gonna send me pictures like that, you beter get your ass over here. NOW!**

**10:03am**

**Me:**

**Tell me then**

**10:04am**

**Mick:**

**Tell you what? Quit playing fucking games with me.**

**10:05am**

**Me:**

**Tell me and I will get dressed**

**10:06**

**_Mick:_**

**_Incoming picture _**

**10:06am**

**Mick:**

**Come take care of this for me. It's too hard.**

**10:07am**

Ian jumped up, and threw his jeans on and pulled a shirt over his head. Like fuck he was going to sleep now. He ran down the stairs, pulled his shoes on, and gave Fiona a kiss. "Be back. Mick." he whispered with exertion. Fiona didn't even have time to say a word before Ian was out of the door.

When Ian made it to the street, he tried to calm himself and look as normal as possible. Finally, he made it to Mickey's front door. Before he had a chance to knock, the door flew open, and a hand was pulling him inside by his shirt collar.

Before Ian had a chance to breath, Mickey's lips were franticly on his. One of Mickey's hands were pushing Ian hard on the door by his hip, and the other was locking the 2 deadbolts on the door. Like hell Mickey was going to let anyone walk in on them. Last time Ian was even in here, there was not even a working lock on the door.

"eager are we?" Ian asked as he pulled his lips away from Mickey's. Mickey couldn't find the words, so he had to think quick on where to put his mouth next.

"Ouch" Ian hissed but didn't jerk when Mickey sank his teeth into Ian's neck.

Mickey then began running his hands on the inside of Ian's pants line around his hips. Mickey would never admit it, but he loved Ian's boney hips. And the muscles that surrounded those hips. Yea, he definitely loved the muscles too.

When Ian felt Mickey's hands on his hips, he followed Mickey's movements and grabbed him by his hips, and began pushing him towards his bedroom. Neither boy letting go of each other, and Ian bent down, kissing Mickey, running his tongue across his bottom lip until Mickey sucked it into his own. Once in Mickey's room, Ian kicked the door closed, and let Mickey loose, and pulled away from his tightening grip. Mickey followed and both boys shuffled to take each other's clothes off. They didn't do it slowly, but they weren't fast either. They didn't even bother to see where their clothes had landed, because Ian already had Mickey down on his back on his bed.

Here Mickey was, under all of Ian's weight, not giving a single fuck. He was hard and he wanted Ian inside him right fucking now. But there was also this weird fluttery feeling Mickey felt as he looked up to see Ian just staring at him, grinning that special evil Gallagher grin. The grin that made him even think he was smiling at. Hell, he was fucking smiling at it. Ian leaned down, and touched his forehead to Mickey's. "You missed me, didn't you." Ian said, with his grin still intact. Not even making it a question. Mickey knew that, yes, he did miss Gallagher. But he wasn't going to say it out loud. "Just get on me already" Mickey grunted as he rolled his eyes.

"But Mick- I'm already…" Ian said as he started to kiss his jawline. He kissed from his jawline, down to his chest. Once near Mickey's left nipple, Ian looked up, grinned, and said "on you". He then proceeded to lick and gently bite it. Mickey let out a groan that Ian hasn't heard in a long time. That made Ian smile.

Ian started kissing Mickey down further until he got to his hips. At each hip bone, he made sure to bite it extra hard for good measure. Or to hear the moans that Mickey was holding in. If Ian was anything, he was a tease, because when Mickey let out his last moan, Ian was right back in his face.

"What the fuck Gallagher." Mickey hissed.

"Say you missed me and I MIGHT suck you off." Ian laughed. He knew he wasn't going to hear the words, because Mickey didn't really like talking when he was horny. Ian pushed himself off of Mickey, leaned over, and took a condom and lube out of under his mattress.

"Still hiding it here, I see. Some things never change." He laughed again.

He sat up to his knees, and picked Mickey's hips up and pulled off his boxers. After all these years of them fucking, it still amazed him to see Mickey's hard cock spring out from under them.

"mmmm" Ian hummed, pleased to see Mickey was as horny as he was.

Ian wasn't planning on it, but his mouth was already wet and closed around the head of his cock. Mickey's body shook in gratification.

"Fuuuck Gallagher" Mickey grunted out as Ian had already sucked every bit of him down his throat. "Do that again." And Ian did. He did it over and over a few times. By this time, Mickey already had his hand on the back of Ian's head.

After just a few more deep throating bobs, Mickey's body was tensing and as Mickey tried to push Ian's head away, Ian wouldn't move, and he held onto Mickey's hips as he came into his mouth. Ian normally wouldn't let Mickey come in his mouth, he would normally stroke him and let him come on his hand. But not now. Mickey could feel Ian's throat tighten around him as he swallowed every last drop, licking up he left overs. Mickey looked down at Ian with brightly opened eyes, and Ian smiled and shrugged. "You actually taste pretty fucking good."

Ian stood up and slid his boxers off, kicking them to the side, and took Mickey's boxers from his ankles and tossed them to the side.

"Stop being such a fag" Mickey laughed.

"How long do we have?" Ian asked, ripping the condom pack open.

"All day. Terry took Mandy and Lana shopping in downtown. Now get the fuck on me already" Mickey barked.

Ian slid the condom on and kneeled between Mickey's legs, putting lube onto his fingers.

Slowly, he pushed one finger into Mickey and began fingering him. Then, he pushed another finger into him. He sissored his fingers, making sure Mickey was ready.

With two fingers still inside of Mickey, he squirted a thick line of lube down his more-than-hard cock, closed the lube and tossed it to the side.

"Ready?" Ian asked

"Like you need to fucking ask stupid questions." Mickey groaned.

And with that, Ian removed his fingers and slowly slid his cock into Mickey.

"Fuck" Ian moaned in a whisper as he continued to push in even further.

"Faster Gallagher" Mickey spit.

And Ian went faster. Faster and harder. The way they both liked.

Mickey wrapped his legs around Ian's back, pulling him closer to him, until Ian was in his face. He was still thrusting as hard as ever, moving his hips in the way he knows Mickey loves.

Mickey didn't know why, but having Gallagher this close to him, right now, made him feel nervous. Maybe it was because they haven't fucked like this in a long time. Or maybe it was for the fact that, oh fuck. Gallagher had that fucking look in his eyes like he was going to kiss him. And sure enough, Ian leaned in and kissed him, not going off beat with his thrusts. And fuck all if Mickey didn't lean right up into his kiss. That had to be what made Mickey nervous, because little did he know, he was trembling under Ian's lips.

"It's OK." Ian whispered, as they were the only ones in the house. And he continued kissing him. Mickey was going to pretend like he wasn't trembling, but who the fuck was he kidding? He new Ian felt it, because to him, it felt like a fucking earthquake.

Mickey took both of his hands, and pulled Ian in tighter.

I didn't want you to lea-" Mickey started saying before he realized his mouth even opened. Oh fuck. What was he saying? He didn't need to fucking talk, so he bit down on Ian's shoulder to keep him from saying anything else that Ian would hold him accountable for.

After a few short moments of Ian pounding into him relentlessly, Mickey grabbed Ian's hand and forced it around his cock. Ian knew Mickey was about to come, because Ian himself was about to as well. Ian stroked him few god times before he came all over his hand, and Ian came right after, falling into Mickey's chest.

Both boys laid like this, Ian with his face in Mickey's neck, and Mickey with his face in Ian's chest for longer than Mickey felt comfortable with on most days. Both had ears on places they could hear each other's hearts beating wildly after the fact that they had already calmed from their weirdly amazing sex.

Ian looked over at Mickey and pushed himself up. Before he could get too far up, Mickey pulled his face down to his, and whispered into Ian's mouth. If Ian didn't know any better, he could have sworn Mickey Milkovich just told him that he loved him.


	8. Chapter 8

_He couldn't have said that. No way. Mickey doesn't talk about feelings_. Ian Knew he had to be just hearing things.

Ian pushed his hands around Mickey, forcing himself up some, and looked at him with a confused half ass smirk. The look on Mickey's face was something Ian wasn't used to. His forehead was relaxed, his nose wasn't crinkled, his lips were parted open, and his skin quickly turned from his always present pale color, to a flash of light red. Ian could see little tale-tell signs of freckles start to show.

"Don't fucking look at me like that, Gallagher" Mickey whispered. "And I wont say it again."

Ian's half grin quickly turned into a full grin as he leaned in to Mickey's face, kissing him. The touch of Ian's lips to Mickey's shocked the older boy. He darted his eyes fully open and grabbed Ian by his biceps, pulling him up and off his lips.

"I say that, and you just fucking kiss me?" Mickey asked, with a hence of annoyance.

"I love you, too" Ian whispered, loud enough to where if someone else were in the room, Mickey would be the only one to know a sound was made.

Mickey quickly pulled Ian's lips onto his, and wrapped his hand into the younger boy's hair, tongues meeting each others, and teeth clanking together quickly and loudly.

Mickey didn't know why he blurted the words, but he didn't regret it, because it was true. He did love Ian Gallagher. After all, Love isn't a mistake.

Both boys lay side by side, panting and sweaty and the earth could have collapsed and neither of them would have cared or known. They were both too wrapped up in their own bubble, away from the world. Away from anything that could hurt them. This is the moment when, in the past, Mickey would generally push Ian over, and grab for a cigarette. But that wasn't the case anymore. Mickey found Ian's hand, and quickly laced his fingers between his, squeezing Ian's hand. Neither boy said anything, they just laid there, catching their breath. It was little moments like this that Mickey felt both butterflies in his stomach, and his fists ready to fly. But he couldn't be mad. He was the one who said it first, and the one to find Ian's hand. He was also the first one to break the silence.

"Give me a cigarette." He huffed as he let go of Ian's hand.

Ian rolled over, grabbed the pack of cigarettes and a lighter from the table next to Mickey's bed, and tossed them to Mickey as he got up to find his boxers.

Mickey lit his smoke, and watched Ian search the dirty room.

"So, Terry is going out of town tonight for a run with my brothers. Going to Ohio. You should come over tonight and meet her. Have a few drinks." Mickey said, and not asked. As if he was demanding him, but without the harshness.

Ian looked at Mickey with a questioning look and shrugged. "Sure, I guess."

Ian finally found his boxers and sat on the bed next to an already dressed Mickey. He threw on whatever he could find. He didn't linger around naked for long, ever. Ian took the cigarette from mickey and took a drag, blowing the smoke towards the ceiling. "What time?"

Mickey shrugged, "after dark, I guess."

Ian smirked and stood up, pulling his pants up and buttoning them. He sat back down and took another drag from the cigarette he still had between his fingers.

Mickey would never admit it, but his second favorite sight, besides seeing his Gallagher naked, was the way his pants sat on his hips when he sat down. They sat right below his hip bones, dipping down on the arch of his back, showing just a very little of his ass crack. Absent mindedly, Mickey bit his lower lip and ran his thumb across the line of Ian's pants, on his back. Ian's body shivered at Mickey's touch and he grinned widely. Neither boy talked about this movement. But Ian loved it.

Ian leaned down and gently kissed Mickey on his lips and told him he had to go. He didn't want Terry and the girls coming home to watching him walk out of the house. Mickey groaned and kissed him back.

"See you tonight?" Ian asked after he pulled his shirt and shoes on, and opened the bedroom door.

"Yea, tonight" Mickey said with a smile.

Ian grinned wide, from ear to ear, and walked out of the door.

Ask Mickey laid in his bed, he stared at the ceiling and smiled as he heard he front door shut from the other room.


	9. Chapter 9

When Ian arrived on Mickey's porch, he wasn't sure why. He knew he wanted to be near Mickey, but he wasn't sure he was ready to actually meet the woman his lover was forced to marry.

He knew Mickey didn't WANT to marry her, though. So, he thought 'what the hell. I don't know her, so I might as well give her a chance.'

Ian took a few deep breaths and knocked on the door. Terry's truck was gone, so he knew it was safe. Besides, Mickey text him and told him the coast was clear almost 15 minutes ago.

When Svetlana answered the door, Ian let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in.

"You must be Ian" Svetlana smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck as if he was sent to the house to save her life. He doesn't ever remember a girl hugging him that hard. Not even Mandy.

"Yea, that's me. Mickey here?" Ian asked nervously

"Come in. He get beer from fridge. He say go to room when you arrive."

Ian let off a smile, because he remembers Mickey telling him how funny her accent was when she talks. And it was actually pretty funny.

Svetlana took him by his hand and led him toward the bedroom that she shares with the older boy.

"I Svetlana, but you call me Lana. I like you fire hair, Ian." Lana had a smile that was more close to a laugh as she took his hand. Seeing her smile made Ian feel a little more at ease.

"Mickey, Ian finally here" she called out to him.

"Hey Gallagher, I see you met Lana. Told you she wasn't that bad" mickey said as he motioned for Ian to take a beer from him.

Ian laughed and took the beer, and twisted open the lid with his bare hand. If anything was going to make his stomach stop turning, it was going to be this beer. And maybe another.

"Hey Mick" Ian said, lifting his beer a bit, in greeting.

All three sat in silence for a few moments before Lana jumped off her side of the bed and told Ian he could sit there.

"Here Ian, you sit. Mickey wants to be close. He tell me earlier. I know he like you. Its ok. Plus I have to go make food. You must be starve." Lana says with an excited tone and a glisten in her eye.

Mickey's face turned bright red, and he grinned a little.

"He no smile like this a lot. I like Happy Mickey" She smiled and left the room, shutting the door behind her.

"So, what'd you think? She seem ok? She is like the all the fucking time. It gets fucking annoying" Mickey said, patting the spot next to him, motioning for Ian move there.

"She seems ok. Guess it wouldn't hurt to get to know her. After all, she kinda doesn't seem to be going anywhere".

Ian crawled across the bed, and hovered over Mickey, smiling from ear to ear. 'I get to see you, so I guess I can get used to her" He smiled and leaned down and kissed the older boy.

"Wait till she tells you her whole fucking life story. She tells everyone new she meets. She has actually had a pretty fucked up life." Mickey says, tearing his lips from Ian's, only to continue kissing him after he talks.

A few minutes later, they have to pull away from each other when they hear a knock on the door.

"yea?" Mickey yells

"You dress? I come in?" Lana asks, making sure its safe for her to enter.

"You can come in Lana, its ok" Mickey laughs as Ian is sucking on his neck.

"Mickey, I burned the macaroni" Lana says, pouting.

Mickey starts laughing and it only makes Svetlana cry.

"Do not laugh. I try hard but I forgot it on stove. Fire too high" Lana whines

Ian smiles and rolls his eyes

"I will check it out, I've burned Macaroni before" Ian says as he walks beside Lana through the door frame. "It cant be that bad"

It's only then that Mickey starts laughing even harder. He thinks to him self, 'great, I have a wife AND a boyfriend'. And right after that, his face goes blank. Mickey has a boyfriend?


	10. Chapter 10

**I just want to thank you all for reading. At times, I feel like I cant write, but I try my best. Reviews are always helpful :)**

Svetlana followed Ian to the kitchen, shutting the bedroom door behind her.

"Ian, I want talk. To you." She said with a smile.

"Sure, what's up?" Ian asked, with his arms crossed over his chest. He was clearly uncomfortable. Looking at her just reminded him of how he met her. It made his chest sting.

"I just want to say, I know Mickey like you. He talk about you. I make him go stop you from leaving. He was sad." She said thoughtfully. That helped Ian ease up a little. But it sure didn't help the feeling in his chest. "I ask him what is wrong when I come home from work, and he look heart broke."

The sting he felt in his chest had turned to pain, because that isn't what Ian wanted. He didn't want Mickey to be heartbroken. Hell, at the time, he didn't even know for a fact Mickey had feelings for him.

"He told me fuck off, like always. He do not like to talk to me much. But I know why. I only marry him because Terry make me. Terry scares me. I do what Terry wants." Tears started welping her eyes, but she fought them back. "I ask Mandy what was wrong, and she made me promise not to say any to him. She told me what I already knew. Mickey don't like girls. I know from moment I walk into house. I may have a bad job, but I am not stupid. So, I talk to him later at night, and tell him, 'If you love him, go stop him.' And you are here now. He want me to meet you."

Ian didn't know why she told him to stop him from leaving. Mickey didn't even stop him. Ian had decided that he was going to stay and fight. Because that is really all he has known. Fighting to stay alive, and he wanted to fight for what he felt was keeping him alive.

"Thank you for talking to him Lana. Really" Ian said, as he pulled her in for a hug. He didn't know why, but he was glad she told him this. He was glad she was the reason he was there that night.

"I did not really burn food. I just wanted to talk to you" she smiled. "Now go back to him."

Ian gave her a grin and turned around back towards the bedroom.

When he walked back into the room, Mickey was still in the same spot he left him. Laying on the bed, and sipping his beer.

"She didn't really burn the food, did she?" Mickey asked, knowing all too well.

"She actually just wanted to talk to me." Ian grinned as he laid back in the bed beside the older boy.

"What the fuck did she want to talk to you about?" Mickey asked with a little annoyance.

"Say that she was sorry about that day" he lied. He hoped Mickey would believe him.

Mickey sat his beer on the table next to his bed, turned around, grabbed Ian by his face, and pulled him in and began kissing him more aggressively, painful and passionately than ever before.


End file.
